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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29529741">Meetings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thescold/pseuds/Thescold'>Thescold</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:54:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29529741</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thescold/pseuds/Thescold</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Before you can love someone, you have to learn to really see them. Every time they meet, Joanna sees a little more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk &amp; Joanna McCoy, Joanna McCoy &amp; Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Pavel Chekov/Joanna McCoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First Meeting Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>When Royal_Darjeeling started sharing Brilliant, I remembered I, too, had written a Pavel/Joanna romance to help me deal with Anton Yelchin's death. I am enjoying Brilliant so much I decided to share Meetings. It starts slowly, very slowly. After this first, very long chapter, most of the characters in Star Trek appear.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Was it horrible, Jojo?" </p>
<p>Joanna looked at her father's worried face, then past him to the sterile, brightly lit little room, so different from the crowded one she'd just left. I made it, she thought. I'm on the transporter bay on the Enterprise. </p>
<p>"Most people just say hi," she said and stepped down, holding up her arms for a hug.</p>
<p>Daddy pulled her close, continuing, "I hate that machine. "Are you sick? It makes some people sick."</p>
<p>Still wrapped in father's embrace, Joanna considered. She felt a little odd but not sick. "I'm fine," she assured him. "I told you not to worry about me."</p>
<p>Daddy rubbed her hair and muttered, "That's impossible." He sighed, held her out at arm's length, took a good look at her, and said, "Hello, sugar. I'm glad you're here."</p>
<p>"Me too," Joanna replied. Of course, I am, she thought, starting a visit is never the problem.</p>
<p>"I don't like shuttles either," Her father grumbled, "but at least they don't scramble your atoms. If there were an elevator to the ship, I'd take it. Hell, I'd climb a rope ladder if it meant no transporters." </p>
<p>Two red-shirted men stepped from behind the divider that separated the pad from what she assumed were the controls. </p>
<p>"Is this Miss Joanna McCoy?" asked the older one. He was a friendly-looking man with a big grin and some sort of accent.</p>
<p>"It is," her father said happily, slipping an arm over her shoulder. "Jojo, this is Lieutenant Commander Scott, and this is Lieutenant Kyle. They run the transporter, so you owe them your life."</p>
<p>Stop fussing about the transporter, Joanna thought, but only smiled and said, "I am so glad to meet you, Lieutenant Commander, Lieutenant." </p>
<p>"We've heard a lot about you," Mr. Scott said.</p>
<p>I bet, Joanna thought but continued to smile and nodded in what she hoped was a pleasant way. </p>
<p>"Your father is very proud," Mr. Kyle said. He was taller than the older man and also had an accent, but not the same one. </p>
<p>"Especially about your schooling, he tells us you're quite a scholar," Mr. Scott added.</p>
<p>Please don't discuss college, Joanna thought, stretching her smile a little wider. </p>
<p>"She's leaning toward Tech," her father said proudly. </p>
<p>"They don't want to hear about that now, Daddy."</p>
<p>"Isn't that where you went, Len?" asked Scott.</p>
<p>Daddy nodded, "And all her grandparents. Jojo's a legacy."</p>
<p>"She could do worse," Mr. Scott said.</p>
<p>The other man nodded serenely.</p>
<p>"I'd love to stand here and listen to your compliments," Daddy said, "but we have a busy evening planned. I'm gonna show off the medical bay and then have dinner in the mess. I wanted to take her somewhere nicer, but she insists we eat here."</p>
<p> Mr. Scott said sharply, "Why wouldn't she? The Enterprise is a beautiful ship, and in a few more days, it will be impossible to get this kind of access to her."</p>
<p>"She'll want to see where her father will be living," added Mr. Kyle. </p>
<p>Nodding, Mr. Scott said, "We'll let you get to it. Enjoy your evening, Miss McCoy." </p>
<p>She had to stop smiling to speak. Just as well, her lips were getting numb. "Thank you; I am sure I shall. But please, call me Joanna."</p>
<p>"Joanna," the officers echoed.</p>
<p>Her father asked, "Shall we go, Jojo?"</p>
<p>He never listens! she thought fiercely but stuck to the plan and said, "Yes, Daddy." She smiled again and said, "I enjoyed meeting you, gentlemen."</p>
<p>The two officers nodded. As Joanna walked away, she heard the younger one say, "Beautiful manners for such a young girl." She wanted to groan but instead concentrated on walking in her heels. </p>
<p>They made it to the medical unit without meeting anyone. That was an advantage of seeing Daddy before his starship was recommissioned she hadn't anticipated; so many people were on leave that she had far fewer to greet. </p>
<p> Unfortunately, the medical division was better staffed. Daddy, gripping her hand like a toddler's, introduced her to what seemed like a hundred people. Joanna reminded herself that the plan called for pretending interest in her father's co-workers, but when her father mentioned her grades to some techs, she gave up and fled to his office, hot with irritation.</p>
<p>Daddy followed quickly. He showed the room off proudly, although Joanna found it small and blandly furnished, just like everywhere else on the ship. Behind the desk, there was a small shelf containing antique books. Daddy pulled one down and handed it to her.</p>
<p>"Do you remember these?" he asked.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. I don't." She did, though. She had seen them some time but couldn't recall where.</p>
<p>"These are your great-great grandfather's medical texts. My father gave them to me; someday, I'll give them to you."</p>
<p>"Maybe," Joanna's stomach tightened as it always did when Daddy mentioned her future in medicine.</p>
<p>Daddy continued, "They were in the living room at Memaw and Pappy's when you were little. You used to love to sit on his lap and look at the pictures. I remember you used to say, 'What is that smell, Pappy,' and he would say, 'that's knowledge, baby.'"</p>
<p>Joanna grimaced and said, "Seriously? We sound like the rough draft of a Faulkner novel." She ran a finger over the binding, looked up, and asked, "What's this?"</p>
<p>Daddy sighed. "That's leather, sugar. That's why they've lasted so long."</p>
<p>"Real leather, skin from animals?" Joanna asked. </p>
<p>Her father nodded wearily.</p>
<p>Joanna said, "Gross. Pappy should have said the smell was death." She sniffed and wrinkled her nose. "Or maybe wet paper. It smells like that too." </p>
<p>Her father took the book and carefully set it back on the shelf, reaching past a framed holo on the desk. It was of Joanna, taken before she'd had her teeth straightened. She frowned at it and flipped the frame down.</p>
<p>"That's awful. I'll ask Mama to send you something a little more recent."</p>
<p>"I've got others. I like that one. It's from that summer I took you canoeing."</p>
<p>"I don't remember."</p>
<p>"Sure you do. We camped and fished for a week. You had a great time, ran around all week in the same clothes. Your mother had a fit when I brought you home. You were such a cute little thing, so feisty."</p>
<p>"Feisty like a squirrel maybe," she said. "Look at that mouth." </p>
<p>Daddy set the frame back up, gazing pensively at the image. Guilt clawed at her, and Joanna was careful to sound cheerful when she asked, "Do you want to eat?" </p>
<p>"Sure," Daddy replied quietly. "That sounds great."</p>
<p>To make up for the squirrel comment, Joanna greeted every nurse they met on the way out of the medical unit. It slowed them down, but Daddy's mood improved. </p>
<p>They were in the waiting area just inside the exit when her father's communicator beeped. He took a quick look, frowned, and said, "Wait here a minute, Jojo, I need to figure out who's on call," and walked quickly back to the inner parts of the unit. </p>
<p>"Of course you do," Joanna muttered angrily. She collapsed grumpily onto a chair near the admitting desk, pulling her throbbing feet under her. </p>
<p>Half an hour later, a willowy blonde stepped through the unit doors. The woman, dressed in a nurse's uniform, looked around the room as if she wanted to be sure Joanna, the only occupant, was who she wanted, then asked, "Are you Dr. McCoy's daughter?"</p>
<p>"Yes, ma'am," Joanna said, rising stiffly. </p>
<p>The nurse nodded. "I'm Christine Chapel. There's been an accident, and Dr. McCoy will be busy for several hours. He wanted you to know."</p>
<p>Well, that was fast, Joanna thought, least now I can get out of these heels. "Thanks," she said. "Tell Daddy I'll go on back to my hotel. He can call me tomorrow."</p>
<p>"We've decided," the nurse continued. "that I'll take you to dinner and start your tour. You two can pick up where you left off when he finishes." </p>
<p>"Oh," Joanna said unenthusiastically, "No, I couldn't ask you to..."</p>
<p>"Your father," Miss Chapel insisted, "is looking forward to spending time with you. We wouldn't want to disappoint him. There's a turbolift through here." The doors to the unit slid open, and the tall woman went through them, clearly expecting to be followed. Sighing, Joanna did.</p>
<p>In the turbolift, the woman checked her PADD, frowned, wrote a few lines, and then seemed to remember Joanna. She said, "So, Jojo."</p>
<p>"I prefer Joanna," she said quickly.</p>
<p>"Fine. So, Joanna, Leonard tells me you're looking at Georgia Tech."</p>
<p>"I haven't really finalized that decision."</p>
<p>"Oh, I thought Leonard said, well, I guess I misunderstood. You still have some high school left."</p>
<p>"More than a year," Joanna agreed. </p>
<p>"Still, you're making plans. Will you be studying medicine? I know you have quite a family history of medical studies."</p>
<p>"My father and great grandfather were physicians; my grandfather was a veterinarian."</p>
<p>"Still, that's medical. I know your father would love to see another generation of McCoys in medicine."</p>
<p>"We wouldn't want to disappoint him." Joanna quoted, as pleasantly as she was able. The blonde woman looked at her speculatively. Joanna knew to stay in character she should share a sugar-sweet smile but couldn't quite manage it. </p>
<p>They approached the replicators. Miss Chapel pressed some buttons and was quickly presented with a salad. "Shall I order one for you?" she asked, lifting down her plate.</p>
<p>"I'll do it," Joanna replied. "Which one shows the options?" </p>
<p>"It will be much faster for me to do it," Miss Chapel said firmly. "What would you like?"</p>
<p>Joanna scowled. She knew her father wouldn't want her to argue with his friend, but using a replicator was the only reason she'd wanted to eat on the ship. Frustrated, she said, "I'll take French fries."</p>
<p>"This is dinner," Miss Chapel said.</p>
<p>"Yes," Joanna agreed, "You're right. Give me two orders of French fries."</p>
<p>Lips tight, Lieutenant Chapel placed the order and, when they appeared, handed the plate to Joanna. Her expression didn't change as she led Joanna to a table. </p>
<p>Once they were seated, Miss Chapel said, "Your father is a proponent of defensive medicine. I'm not certain he'd approve of your meal."</p>
<p>"Well, then he should have come to dinner and told me so himself," Joanna said, careful to keep her tone polite. The blonde woman's eyebrows skyrocketed in surprise. Joanna felt invigorated enough to smile angelically.</p>
<p>Chapel said, "I sense you're disappointed, but your father will join you as soon as he can. He is looking forward to spending the evening with you."</p>
<p>Joanna rolled a fry into some ketchup. The nurse continued, "Everyone who was aboard the Enterprise for the battle of Nero admires Dr. McCoy. He saved dozens of lives that day and has continued to work just as hard since. I wish you could have seen how pleased he was when you decided to visit."</p>
<p>"Honestly," Joanna said as she reached for another fry, "It was my mama's idea."</p>
<p>"She wanted you to spend time with your father before the Enterprise sails," Miss Chapel said approvingly.</p>
<p>"Or," Joanna replied, "she figured me visiting would give her a reasonable excuse to mention her relationship with Daddy down at the club. She's been eager to do that since he became such a hero and all."</p>
<p>It took a few seconds for Miss Chapel to reply, "Dr. McCoy has always been a hero. He truly puts the needs of the patients before his own."</p>
<p>"I can't argue with you there," Joanna said, grabbing another fry, "I have never known him not to put the patient's needs first, not even once. Not one single, itty bitty time." She jabbed at the ketchup with every syllable until the potato tore in half.</p>
<p>Before she could reply, both Miss Chapel's PADD and communicator pinged. The nurse jumped up and began to murmur into the comm. She frowned, then nodded, and her eyes darted about the room, searching for something. Closing her comm, she called, "Excuse me a moment, Joanna," as she began walking purposely away. </p>
<p>Is she leaving? Joanna wondered, did I insult her? She leaned out over the table to watch. With so few of the crew aboard, the cavernous mess was nearly empty. Miss Chapel hurried past the few occupied tables toward the opposite wall and a small table in the corner. </p>
<p>Miss Chapel spoke animatedly, gesturing towards Joanna, then turned abruptly and started back. The table's solitary occupant rose, revealing itself as a human male. He followed Miss Chapel slowly, radiating unwillingness. </p>
<p>The nurse was talking before she even reached the table. "Joanna, I'm sorry, but things are getting out of hand in the unit. We aren't fully staffed yet. One of the mechanics working up here is injured and requires immediate surgery. Your father needs my help."</p>
<p>"Every itty bitty time," Joanna muttered, then said, "I'm going back to the hotel. Tell Daddy to comm me tomorrow."</p>
<p>Miss Chapel shook her head. "No, no, your father will finish in a few hours. In the meantime, this young man will help us out." She reached back and grabbed the officer's arm, pulling him forward. </p>
<p>He was smaller than Miss Chapel. His hair was darker blond, but he was nearly as fair. That's not a man, Joanna thought, that's a boy. He stared sulkily over Joanna's head as the nurse said, "Ensign Chekov is excited to give you a tour." </p>
<p>"It isn't necessary," Joanna began again. </p>
<p>"It's no trouble," Miss Chapel said. "He's looking forward to it. Aren't you?' She turned to the young man. "Aren't you?" she said again, a little more firmly. </p>
<p>He muttered, "Yes, ma'am," unenthusiastically. </p>
<p>"I'm sure you have plenty of other things," Joanna began. </p>
<p>"He's got nothing else to do, and he's very pleased to be able to help," Miss Chapel said. The young man glanced resentfully at the nurse. She continued, "He knows the ship very well. He'll give you a thorough tour." She turned to the young man and said, "Right?"</p>
<p>The young man again said, "Yes, ma'am," without looking directly at either of them. </p>
<p>Satisfied, the older woman said, "I'll let you two get acquainted," and gave the young man's shoulder a firm tap. He slumped sulkily onto the bench opposite Joanna. </p>
<p>Miss Chapel started to go but turned back and said, "You understand who she is?"</p>
<p>"Yes, ma'am," The young man said politely, rolling his eyes as he spoke. Miss Chapel was behind him and couldn't see, but Joanna did. Delighted, she snickered. Realized his mistake, panicked green eyes met hers. Feeling powerful, Joanna raised a mocking eyebrow. </p>
<p>Above them, the nurse continued to talk, "I know you must be very disappointed, Jojo. I hope ..." She was interrupted by another round of frantic pings from her communicator. She said, "I've got to run. I'll call when we're finished." She had her communicator out before she was off the dining floor. </p>
<p>"Not disappointed, and don't call me Jojo," Joanna told the empty air where the nurse had stood. The young man looked at her questioningly. She felt herself blush and said, "I told her I preferred Joanna. I hate when people ask a question and then don't even listen to your answer."</p>
<p>The young man sighed and nodded. He said, "That, I know about." He had a heavy accent. Joanna wasn't sure what kind. She was too annoyed to listen closely anyway. </p>
<p>"I wanted to go back to the hotel, but she dragged me down here. Then, she tried to lecture me on how grateful I should be to see my father. She even commented on what I was eating. It was so rude." Joanna angrily shoved her plate away. It skidded across the table; the young man grabbed it before it fell, covering his hand in her ketchup.  </p>
<p>Joanna's voice grew shriller, "She was all over me in one of those fake jokey voices old people use when they know they are totally out of line but are going to say it anyway. You know what I mean, right? Of course, once she figured out I'm not a member of the All-Praise-to-Leonard McCoy-Party, she couldn't get out of here fast enough."</p>
<p>"Do you have a napkin?" the young man asked.</p>
<p>Joanna tossed hers in his direction. "I never wanted her company in the first place. I don't even get why she appointed herself my companion. There's no reason for her to be interested in me, unless..." She had a sudden, horrible idea. She reached across the table and clutched the boy's arm. "Please tell me she isn't his girlfriend."</p>
<p>The unexpected movement jarred his hand, smearing ketchup onto his gold uniform top. Frowning, the young man dabbed at it and said, "They would be unlikely to discuss something like that with me, Miss McCoy."</p>
<p>She dropped his arm and frowned, "Didn't you hear me say I prefer Joanna?" </p>
<p>After a hesitation, he nodded again. Joanna wondered if maybe he wasn't very bright. She continued a little more calmly, "I'm sorry she involved you in all this. That's not fair. What are you, some kind of boy scout or something?"</p>
<p>The boy drew himself up. "I am an officer of Starfleet," he said, holding out his arm.</p>
<p>A small amount of braid sparkled on his gold shirt sleeve. Joanna studied it doubtfully. "Sure," she said, "cause Starfleet takes twelve-year-olds now."</p>
<p>He flushed angrily. He leaned closer, jaw tight. "And you?" he asked. "How did you come to be on the ship? Did you win a tour at the county fair? Perhaps your pig was exceptional?"</p>
<p>Joanna's mouth fell open. "I beg your pardon," she sputtered. "I was invited by my father. Maybe you've heard of Dr. Leonard McCoy, the hero of the Nero invasion?" </p>
<p>The boy gave her a contemptuous look. Ugh, she thought, I sound like Mama bragging to the neighbors. She said quickly, "I mean one of the heroes; there were lots. He's not the only one, but he's one of them."</p>
<p>"I know about Nero," the boy retorted.</p>
<p>"Yeah, 'cause you're an officer," Joanna snapped. </p>
<p>"Yes," he said, so firmly that Joanna knew he was telling the truth. </p>
<p>Nero probably didn't leave them much to choose from, she thought. I should apologize. Instead, she said, "I believe officers are supposed to listen when someone talks to them!"</p>
<p>"Yes, ma'am," he said with mock respect. </p>
<p>Joanna narrowed her eyes and said slowly, "Are you deaf? I said..."</p>
<p>He interrupted her, "Okay, okay, Joanna. I will call you Joanna."</p>
<p>"Thank you," she said, leaning back in her chair. "Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" He stared at her stonily and didn't reply.</p>
<p>"Listen," she said, a little more kindly, "take me to the transport room, and I'll find my way home." </p>
<p>"No," he replied, shaking his head.</p>
<p>"You don't have to give me a tour."</p>
<p>"Yes, I do," he said firmly.</p>
<p>Her anger flared again. "I just said that you didn't." </p>
<p>"Miss Chapel is a full lieutenant. I am an ensign. She told me what she expects, and I must do it."</p>
<p>Joanna asked contemptuously, "Do you always do exactly what you're told?"</p>
<p>He gave her an exasperated look. "That," he said, "is how Starfleet works." </p>
<p>Joanna curled her lip and said, "God, you're unbelievable! Is everyone on this ship arrogant?" </p>
<p>He drew back as if she'd struck him. Joanna was too irritated to care. "Seriously," she asked. "Is there some kind of test, and they only let in the top ten biggest assholes? Listen, I don't need Starfleet explained; it's simple. I understand it perfectly. Now here's a simple idea for you: I don't want a tour."</p>
<p>Jaw set, he said, "If you understand Starfleet, you know I won't disregard orders."</p>
<p>This guy, Joanna decided, is too dumb to argue with. "Fine," she said, "You win. We'll go on a tour."</p>
<p>"Thank you," the boy said, sounding genuinely relieved. He pushed the plate of fries back toward her. "Finish your meal," he said, "there's no hurry."</p>
<p>She wasn't hungry, but Joanna ate a few fries and took a good look at the boy. He's stupid and kind of skinny, but I like his hair, she decided. I'm not sure how old, maybe a junior or senior? So, not that much older than me. At least he's not too tall. She didn't care to be towered over; she believed it made people feel like they could figuratively talk down to her also. </p>
<p>"Yes?" the boy asked. </p>
<p>Joanna realized she had been staring at him for several seconds. Embarrassed, she nodded at the plate. "Help yourself," she said quickly. He surprised her by taking several. "There's ketchup," she added.</p>
<p>"I have some," the boy said, glancing at the stain on his shirt. Joanna flushed. He dipped a fry in the condiment and added, "That was a joke."</p>
<p>"And you made it without being ordered," Joanna muttered. "Good for you." She was a little chagrined by how ungracious it sounded once the comment left her mouth, but the boy gave her an amused look and took a few more fries. </p>
<p>He ended up eating the lion's share. When the plate was empty, he smiled broadly and, sounding very cheerful, said, "I feel better. Shall we go?"</p>
<p>"All it takes to improve your mood is potatoes?" Joanna asked sarcastically.</p>
<p>He wrinkled his forehead as if he were considering the question seriously. Finally, "Yes," he said, "definitely potatoes. Thank you for them, and thank you for agreeing to come on a tour. If I were to stop obeying orders, Miss Chapel would not be my first choice of who to provoke."</p>
<p>Despite herself, Joanna's lips twitched. "She does seem like the grudge keeper type," she acknowledged. </p>
<p>"It probably will not matter," he added. "I will do something wrong. When she is involved, I always do." </p>
<p>Joanna shrugged. "At least it'll be interesting to see how you mess up," she said.</p>
<p>He shot her another amused glance before standing up and gesturing dramatically toward the turbolifts. Not to be outdone, Joanna rose and curtsied, then followed him out of the cafeteria.</p>
<p>On the way to the lifts, he began to recite in a sing-song voice, "The Enterprise is a constitution class starship. The High Council of the United Federation of Planets provided funding for the line as part of the," he paused and looked at her. "You do not wish to hear this?"</p>
<p>"I am hanging on your every word," Joanna replied. "It's desperately important to me that you feel useful and Miss Chapel feels happy. Please, continue."</p>
<p>Instead, he waited.</p>
<p>"You want the truth?" she asked.</p>
<p>He nodded.</p>
<p>"Fine," she said. "No, I am not interested. I mean, why would I be? I get it. It's a starship, so what? Maybe it is interesting to you since you live on it."</p>
<p>"No," he said with a sigh, "it is not interesting ever, but it is required of ensigns to memorize the ship's history."</p>
<p>"Seriously?"</p>
<p>He nodded, "I must be able to recite it whenever asked."</p>
<p>"Like anyone ever would."</p>
<p>He shrugged.</p>
<p>The lift doors opened. The boy gestured toward the open lift then politely followed Joanna inside. He murmured instructions, and the unit began to travel smoothly upward. After a few seconds, Joanna blurted, "Are you saying that there are people in the universe who want to hear you recite the history of this ship?"</p>
<p>"Occasionally," he agreed.</p>
<p>"Who?" she asked.</p>
<p>The boy shrugged, "Usually command track lieutenants." </p>
<p>"If they're lieutenants, shouldn't they already know it?" Joanna asked.</p>
<p>"They aren't seeking information." He looked at her like he expected her to understand. When Joanna shook her head, he explained, "It takes twenty minutes to recite the entire history. If we are in the mess, and it is a short break, I might not have time to eat."</p>
<p>"They just do it because they can?" Joanna frowned, "Is that supposed to be funny?" When he didn't reply, she muttered, "I really don't get why anyone would join Starfleet." </p>
<p>"Not for the food," the boy said. "So, being denied is not so bad."</p>
<p>Joanna scowled, annoyed. He smiled and said, "That was..."</p>
<p>"A joke," she finished for him, "but not funny. You should be madder about this."</p>
<p>He said mildly. "Alright, no history. We will start with the hangar decks unless there is something you would prefer to see first?"</p>
<p>The turbolift lurched right. Joanna grabbed the railing that ran along the metal wall and said, "I don't care. My father and I toured the fleet when he was at the academy. I thought it was boring then, and I sure don't want a tour now. But I don't want to get you in trouble, so you go ahead. Take me wherever you want. I'll listen."</p>
<p>The ensign gave her a speculative, sideways glance. He said, "Perhaps I could show you the interesting parts only?"</p>
<p>"There are interesting parts?" she asked.</p>
<p>"I could show you two or maybe three of my favorite things about this ship. Would that be better?"</p>
<p>"It can't possibly be worse."</p>
<p>"That is what we will do," he agreed. He called to the turbolift, "Stop, recalculate. Deck twelve center." The machine stopped, then began to move in a new direction. </p>
<p>The young man cleared his throat and said, "Miss, uh, Joanna, could you not mention this alteration of her plan to Miss Chapel?"</p>
<p>"Oo," she teased, "What is it exactly you're afraid the human icicle would do to you?"</p>
<p>Rather than answer directly, he said, "I am not asking you to lie."</p>
<p>The turbolift jerked to a stop. The door whooshed open to what appeared to be miles of gleaming hallways. "Your secret's safe with me," Joanna sighed. "Lead on."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part 2 The Aft Observation Room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stepping out of the turbolift, Joanna kicked her shoes off and sighed with pleasure. "Ah, that's better. I don't know how people stand to wear heels." </p><p>The young man nodded, smiling politely. Joanna assumed he was too polite to ask and explained, "I only wore them to impress my daddy with what a mature adult I am. Where we come from, ladies dress to go out. But, I figure, he's not even here; I should be comfortable, right?"</p><p>He gave her another noncommittal, Starfleet issue smile and gestured down the long, empty hall. </p><p>Swinging the heels as she walked, Joanna stole another look at her guide. Good hair, she thought again. "Where y'all from anyway?" she asked. </p><p>"Are you asking where I grew up?" he asked. Joanna nodded.</p><p>"I am from Earth, from Russia."</p><p>"Like from Moscow?"</p><p>"No, from a village by Taganrog. You would not have heard of it. I went to school in Moscow, though. It is a beautiful city."</p><p>"What did she say your name is?"</p><p>“Ensign Pavel Andreievich Chekov.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes. "Do I have to say all that every time I want to talk to you, Ensign Pavel Andreievich Chekov?" </p><p>"It would be impolite to insist you call me something that made you uncomfortable." He gave her a sly, sideways glance and added pointedly, "Joanna." </p><p>"Listen to you! Where you been hiding all that clever, Ensign Pavel Andreievich Chekov?" Joanna replied sarcastically. </p><p>With a far more natural smile, he pointed to a door labeled Aft Observation. "Through that hatch, please," he said, stopping to let Joanna enter. </p><p>Stepping in, Joanna was confused. The room was dark. She couldn't see the floor or ceiling or the walls around her, but before her, a pair of colossal white walls jutted into space. They seemed to go as far as she could see, disappearing into nothingness. A distance, Joanna knew, far too long to be inside the ship. For a horrible second, Joanna thought she'd walked into space. Heart pounding, she clutched the door frame.   </p><p>"What's wrong?" the ensign asked.</p><p>"Nothing," Joanna hissed. Don't be absurd, she told herself. Starships don't have doors to the outside.</p><p>The boy stepped past Joanna into the darkness. "Seeing Earth from this far away bothers some people," he said. </p><p>"I'm fine," Joanna insisted and, letting go, forced herself to join him. She shuffled across the starship floor, thinking, I'm on the ship. Everything is fine. But the white walls, looming impossibly far away, still seemed frighteningly wrong.</p><p>"Lights thirty percent," the boy said. The room brightened at his command, and the glittering white walls disappeared. He asked sympathetically, "Does that help?</p><p>"I'm fine," Joanna said again, trying to understand what had happened.  The light revealed a tiny room, maybe nine feet across and five wide, but two stories high, with a ceiling far above them. It was nothing like the vast space she'd seen. Even the paint was different, clean and bland like the rest of the ship, not the glittering white she'd seen before. </p><p>I know what I saw, Joanna thought, reaching out to touch the wall before her. It felt cold and wet, like ice, and Joanna realized it was a transparent aluminum screen. The room lights refracting over the aluminum rendered it opaque. Joanna moved closer and squinted through it. The strange floorless room floated outside the screen, and she was embarrassed to realize she'd been frightened by the view through a window. </p><p>The boy began to recite in the sing-song voice, "The aft viewing area provides visual access to the ship's stern. Much smaller than the forward viewing area and seldom used for recreation, it..."</p><p>"This is one of your favorite places?" Joanna interrupted.</p><p>The ensign nodded. "One of them," he agreed, "my favorite place is the bridge, but it isn't open to civilians."</p><p>"You prefer the smallest viewing area?" </p><p>He nodded. "I do, but perhaps you would prefer to see the large one?</p><p>"No! Just, um, why you think this is better than the big one?"</p><p>He shrugged. "Sometimes here, I feel as if I were part of space instead of staring out at it. I don't know why. It may be because the viewer is so large and the room so small, or perhaps because it is so oddly proportioned?"</p><p>"Yes," she agreed, swallowing hard, "perhaps."</p><p>"I like to look at space," he went on. "but the forward deck is a rec area. It's much larger and has tables and chairs. Many people go there; almost no one comes to this one. I like that because sometimes privacy is difficult to find on a starship. There is an excellent view of the stars here, better actually because there is less visual distortion when we are at warp. I can always find Sol from here. Well, not always, but I have always been able to do so thus far. I like that."</p><p>"Sol," she asked. "You mean Earth's sun?"</p><p>He nodded, then leaned against the window, smiling at the view.</p><p>"Whenever you see the sun, you can wave to the moon, she said automatically. He raised an eyebrow. "Never mind," Joanna said quickly, very embarrassed. Those were the instructions she'd given her father when he'd called from this very ship on his way to defeat Nero. Eager to change the subject, she said, "If you're so fond of Earth, why don't you go on leave?"</p><p>He continued to stare out the window. "I am on leave. I chose to stay on the ship."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"The chief engineer is allowing me to help with some of the repairs."</p><p>She rolled her eyes. "You would rather do that than go home?"</p><p>"I am enjoying it, yes." The boy noticed Joanna's expression and finished defensively, "I am learning a great deal."</p><p>"Do you want to be an engineer?." </p><p>Rather than reply directly, he said, "Knowledge is never wasted." </p><p>"Vacations in the real world," Joanna said condescendingly, "are generally about fun, not knowledge." </p><p>"Some people enjoy both." </p><p>He sounded thoughtful, but Joanna assumed he was mocking her and turned quickly, ready to put him in his place. The boy was resting his head against the window, staring out with soft, dreamy eyes. She bit back her rebuke, suddenly curious to see what he did. Looking out the viewscreen, she focused on the white walls rising from nothing into the air. She stepped closer, trying to understand what she was seeing, and noticed a platform far below. It wasn't a floor; it didn't connect to the walls, but it was there.  </p><p>Then, at the far edge of the platform, she saw a glowing ball. It curved into black emptiness. That's Earth, Joanna realized. Dizziness washed over her; she reached out to steady herself. Touching the transparent aluminum made it worse. She flinched, suddenly dizzy and weak. Nausea rushed over her. </p><p>"It's alright," the boy said gently, stepping closer. Joanna hugged herself, gasping. "It's alright," he said again, resting his hand on her shoulder.</p><p> After a few seconds, Joanna looked up at him, too frightened to be angry. "I thought I was going to pass out. I've never been afraid of heights before. I'm so embarrassed." </p><p>"Don't be," he said. "It bothers many people to see Earth from so far away. Do you need help to leave?" </p><p>Joanna took a few deep breaths. "No," she said. "I won't leave. I came all this way; I can't leave until I handle this."  </p><p>The ensign nodded approvingly. "Hold on to the bulkhead; it helps to feel grounded and keep your eyes on the ship. It won't appear to be moving. That helps too." </p><p>Careful to avoid touching the aluminum screen, Joanna grabbed its frame. She took a few deep breaths, then forced herself to look out the window. Her eyes darted immediately to Earth. Her stomach lurched, and she looked away. </p><p>"Focus on the ship. Don't look down until you feel able," the young man urged.</p><p>"I don't understand. We're in the ship. How could I see it?" Joanna asked.</p><p>He stepped closer and pointed at the wall on her left. "Do you see those red lights? That's the end of the port nacelle. The starboard nacelle is over there. The main body of the ship is below, and the saucer is above and behind us." </p><p>Suddenly, Joanna understood. What she'd thought were enormous white walls were the ship's massive nacelles. "Now I see! That's so weird! It's like I hallucinated," she said, laughing with relief. "I thought it was a room or a hallway leading to nothing."</p><p>"They don't look like you would anticipate," he agreed. "Until you are this close, it is difficult to appreciate how big they are. </p><p>The nacelles glittered coldly in the station's light, sturdy, substantial. He's right, Joanna thought. Looking at them did make her feel safe. Staring past them, Joanna made out another starship cradled in repair tethers, and beyond that, one more. She could even see a few stars and the glow of approaching vessels' lights. </p><p>"It is lovely, yes?" he asked.</p><p>"It's interesting," she agreed. It was beautiful, in a mechanical way.</p><p>"We will leave while you are feeling good," he said. "Then it is a pleasant memory." He stepped back to let her out. As they neared the turbolift, he added, "I'm sorry; I know the view bothers many people. I should have asked before I brought you here."</p><p>Joanna shrugged, "It's a tour of your favorite places, not mine," she said. "I'm sorry to be so much trouble. No wonder you didn't want to give me a tour."</p><p>He stopped walking and said, "I don't mind giving you a tour Miss, uh, Joanna." </p><p>Joanna grunted, "I thought Starfleet officers aren't supposed to lie?" He flushed and looked away. She felt a little satisfied to at last provoke a response from him and continued, "I saw you in the mess. You didn't look so thrilled to be handed responsibility for me." </p><p>He shook his head, "It was not you. I resented that Miss Chapel did not ask me to help. She announced I would and expected me to agree." </p><p>Joanna nodded. "Yes! Exactly! I don't see how you stand knowing she could be around any corner ready to tell you to jump, and you just have to do it."</p><p>The young man said softly, "She is not close to the worst. You have no idea." Moving closer, he spoke quietly, "I should be honest. I was angry even before she approached me, and I allowed that to affect you. It was rude; I apologize."</p><p>Joanna and her friends tended to avoid assigning or accepting responsibility, and she found his earnestness confusing. To lighten the mood, she said melodramatically, "First, my daddy deserted me, then his nurse did, but not before I had to watch her force you to spend time with me. I'm almost too depressed to follow you around."</p><p>The young man reached out to take her hand. Eyes soft, he said, "I am sorry I added to your sadness." He smells good, Joanna thought, like pine soap. An odd warmth spread through her chest; she giggled nervously. He dropped her hand and flushed scarlet. Stepping away, he said, "This way, please," and started down the hall without looking back.</p><p>Joanna called, "I'm just teasing." He turned and looked back at her, wrinkling his forehead. </p><p>"I'm just playing with you." She hurried to catch up and said, "It doesn't mean anything."</p><p>He frowned skeptically. "Seriously," Joanna said. "I'm enjoying your tour. I just have a weird way of showing it." </p><p>After a few seconds, the boy said quietly, "Your father also does this."</p><p>"My whole family does," Joanna agreed. "We kind of avoid saying positive things. It's a McCoy tradition." When he didn't reply, she added, "I don't know why." After another awkwardly long silence, she said, "Makes for kinda uncomfortable family dinners."</p><p>The boy nodded slowly. Sounding uncertain, he said, "The captain likes this. He finds it amusing." </p><p>"But you don't," Joanna prompted. </p><p>"The captain has a much better sense of humor," he replied, shifting uncomfortably. "I...I tend to believe what people say."</p><p>"The captain? Do you mean Jim Kirk?" Joanna asked. </p><p>Rather than answer, the boy stared at her, mouth hanging open, eyes round with shock. Joanna explained, "He was my father's roommate at the academy. Yeah, he's got a great sense of humor, provided the joke's not on him. Listen, assuming people are honest is definitely not a mistake he'd make, but it means you're honest. That's not something you need to apologize for."</p><p>Brow furrowed; he shook his head, blinking. It's like he's rebooting, Joanna thought and almost laughed. She made her voice cheery and asked, "So, what's next?"</p><p>"Um," he said uncertainly, then seemed to pull himself together and asked, "Which would you prefer, exercise or playing vids?" </p><p>Joanna considered then said, "I like both, you pick."</p><p>"I like vids better. We will do that first," the ensign said, surprising Joanna with his decisiveness.</p><p>"They have vids on the ship?" She knew they did but wanted to keep him talking and said the first thing that popped into her mind.</p><p>He started walking toward the turbolifts. "Many in the rec areas, but I will show you something much better than those."</p><p>Joanna hurried to catch up. "Why Ensign Pavel Andreievich Chekov," she said coquettishly, "is that what the boys are saying this season, 'come play on my console?'"</p><p>She expected him to blush, but he looked at her boldly and said, "Actually, Miss McCoy, I am taking you to security."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part 3 Security</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joanna followed Pavel through the security division's double doors and past a desk where a young man in a red-shirt sat playing on his PADD. Behind him, dimly lit hallways branched off in every direction. Without bothering to look up, the lieutenant said, "Again, Pav? You gotta get a life, little brother." </p><p>Smiling sheepishly, Pavel started down one of the halls. The passageway looked uninviting, the dark lit only by eerie splotches of green. Joanna had to force herself to follow him but soon realized the strange colors came from the doors' designations which glowed to make them easier to read. She saw a door labeled 'weapons' and another that read 'restraints.' When they passed the door that announced, 'Brig-Absolutely No Unauthorized Admittance,' Joanna hurried to catch Pavel.</p><p>A door labeled 'Simulation Lab' slid open to reveal a gaping dark hole. "Lights, 75%," Pavel called, and to Joanna's relief, the room brightened, revealing a cavernous space with a floor that undulated into randomly arranged table-sized mounds. The walls were smooth, covered in dark foam pocked with dozens of small holes. "Are those holovision generators?" Joanna asked. Pavel nodded. </p><p>"Wait till you see, it's amazing," Pavel said, pulling a metal console from the wall. He began to tap at it. Joanna peered over his shoulder and realized he was entering ID codes. A picture of a bearded young man popped up, labeled, Hendorff, Geoffrey D. Lt.</p><p>"Who's that?" she asked.</p><p>The young man kept working. "Today, you."</p><p>"What?" Joanna laughed.</p><p>"You can't use this machine without entering a service number."</p><p>"Ensign Pavel Andreievich Chekov!" Joanna gasped in mock surprise, "Are you breaking a rule? I'm proud of you."</p><p>"No," he said cooly, pointing to the instructions printed on the console. "It says a service number. It doesn't say the service number belonging to the specific player."</p><p>"Does this Geoffrey know you have his number?" she asked.</p><p>He didn't answer for a few seconds, then shrugged and said, "He gave it to me. Security is required to put in a certain number of hours practicing each month. Geoff finds it boring; he likes me to do some of it for him."</p><p>"He doesn't know I'm pretending to be him. This definitely qualifies as rule-breaking," Joanna gloated.</p><p>Pavel gave her an annoyed glance. "No, it doesn't. Geoff is my friend. He would be happy to help me. He is very understanding, and he will not care if you drop his average."</p><p>"Drop his average?" she laughed. "You assume I'm no good? Nice."</p><p>"I assume you won't be as good as Geoff," Pavel replied. "That is not an insult; he is rated, expert."</p><p>"How about you?"</p><p>"I am also expert," he replied, then abruptly stopped working and stared at her over the console, brow wrinkled, biting his lip. </p><p>"What's wrong?" Joanna asked.</p><p>"The ratio of attempts to hits determines ratings. When I say I am expert, it not my evaluation; it is Starfleet's," he said earnestly.</p><p>"Huh?" she asked.</p><p>Pavel continued, "When I fire weapons from a console, it is like a game, and I am quite good. But, I am not good at turning on a phaser and shooting live targets. I need to get better. It takes practice, but your father insists it is not good for someone my age to be here so much and won't allow me to spend as much time working as this requires."</p><p>"That sounds like Daddy," she agreed, wondering why he sounded so urgent. "He's big on fresh air. You're probably lucky space has no lawns that need weeding." </p><p>"Dr. McCoy arranged for an alert to be delivered to his office whenever I signed in and began coming down here to order me out. Geoff isn't the only one who said I could use his ID," Pavel continued, "I spent hours practicing during the return to Earth. It is why Mr. Finley says I need a life. I spend a lot of time  here." </p><p>"Okay," Joanna said.</p><p>"But I got better," Pavel said, "I am not naturally expert; I worked hard to be that." He gazed at her anxiously.</p><p>"This is clearly a big deal for you," Joanna said, "but I don't care much. You're an expert marksman. Great."</p><p>He gave his lip a few more chews, then said, "I was concerned I sounded," he paused and then finished uncertainly, "arrogant?"</p><p>"Seriously, you're overthinking this." Joanna shrugged. "I mean, it's Starfleet, you're command track. You're supposed to be good with a phaser. Right?"</p><p>After a hesitation, he nodded. Joanna added, "And you are. That doesn't make you arrogant; it makes you competent."</p><p>He nodded more slowly, expression doubtful. "Anyway," Joanna said, "it can't be that big of a deal. Even my dad had to pass a phaser competency exam. How hard could it be?" </p><p>He blinked a few times, then smiled wryly and said, "Ah, another demonstration of your excellent understanding of Starfleet." </p><p>Something about the way he said it made Joanna think he was grateful. The same warm glow she'd experienced earlier spread across her chest. Embarrassed, she snapped, "At least I understand my dad shouldn't be firing phasers, which apparently puts me ahead of Starfleet's brass." </p><p>He smiled again, more genuinely, and Joanna felt strangely triumphant.  She smiled back and asked, "So, are we going to play or what?"</p><p>He reached into the console and tossed Joanna a phaser. It was weighted like the real thing but had the orange base of a toy. "We will do some target practice. I loaded a simulation of pirates attempting to board the ship. It's fun." He pushed the console back into the wall. As it disappeared, the overhead light faded, and the generators began to glow.</p><p>"It should be interesting," Joanna tried not to sound as excited as she felt.  She'd always heard the simulations used by Starfleet were the best available. </p><p>"Wait until it starts," the boy said. "It is amazing." He toggled the safety off on his weapon and added, "Shall we play as a team?"</p><p>Joanna pretended to consider. "It depends," she said. "Am I gonna have to cover for you when you go soft?"</p><p>"No," he laughed. "It is only live targets for which I have compassion. With simulations, I am ruthless."</p><p>"Then sure," Joanna said, "we can be a team."</p><p>Pavel took a position in the center of the room and gestured for Joanna to join him. "Stand back to back. It starts fast. In five seconds, there will be someone in front of you. Go."</p><p>A copy of an engineering bay shimmered into existence. An ornately dressed green man stepped from behind a pole and raised a rifle; Joanna shot him in the chest. Pavel called a warning; she whirled, phaser up as another figure appeared to pop up from behind a computer bank. Electric fire shot over her head as Pavel blasted it into oblivion. </p><p>Joanna and Pavel ran, dodged, and tried not to hit each other as Orion pirates appeared from every direction, often at the same time. Joanna did well, but she wasn't as good as the ensign. Pavel did not seem to care. Once the visual started, he yelled encouragement and advice and enthusiastically cheered her kills. </p><p>When the simulation ended, and the lights came up, Joanna collapsed to the floor, exhilarated. "Can we play again?" she asked.</p><p>"Sure, yes," the boy said, "but it will take a while to reset. First, it will analyze our performance, so we know our weaknesses. Here it is. I shot you once; sorry, I did not see that. But look, we are even, because you shot me three times. I probably got in your way. I do that all the time in real life too. Look! I made 85% of my attempted shots, which is good. You shot 67%, very good for a first attempt. You are talented!"</p><p>Joanna peered over his shoulder. "But the bad guys shot me five times. They got you zero."</p><p>He shrugged and said, "It was your first time to play; I know the game better."</p><p>"No," she said, "it's this stupid dress. I can't dodge. I wish I had brought something to change into."</p><p>The boy looked thoughtful for a few seconds, then his whole face lit up, "I have clothes. You would wear mine?" he asked.</p><p>"I guess." It was not an idea she would have had.</p><p>"I need to go to my quarters. Will you wait?"</p><p>Joanna remembered the eerie hallway and silent division. "Maybe I'll come too?" she asked.</p><p>Pavel nodded frantically. "You're right; that would be faster." He grabbed her hand and dashed out of the lab, pulling her along. As they rushed past, he yelled to the young man at the desk not to let anyone else into the lab.</p><p>"Not likely to be a problem, Pav," the young man said without even bothering to look up from his PADD.</p><p>He ran them to the turbolift, and then they had to wait for it to arrive. "Pav," she tried, copying the guard. </p><p>He grinned. "Many members of security call me that. You will laugh. At first, I didn't understand they meant me."</p><p>"Seriously?" Joanna asked.</p><p>Pavel nodded, "I checked a translator several times. It always said the word had no meaning. I was too embarrassed to ask. It wasn't until Geoff sent me a message and I saw it written that I realized they were using a diminutive for Pavel.</p><p>"In America, they're called nicknames," Joanna replied. </p><p>"It is the same idea, though, changing someone's name to express affection or signify a relationship?" he asked. </p><p>"I guess," Joanna replied. "You know you can tell them not to call you that, right?"</p><p>He looked surprised. "In security, everyone has a dimin...a nickname. Giving me one is like they are saying, 'you are part of us.' I am the only Pav here, the only one most of them will ever know. It is difficult to explain, but it is good. Oh, look, the lift." Pavel jumped in. Joanna followed more slowly, thinking about how she responded to her father calling her Jojo.</p><p>Pavel gave the machine instructions, then politely urged it to hurry. When she giggled, he shrugged and said, "It never hurts to ask."</p><p>The turbolift lurched to a stop. "Thank you," Pavel declared warmly and jumped out. He jogged down another long hallway, almost overshooting a door that slid open immediately once he stood in front of it. The room lights flashed on as he entered. </p><p>Joanna joined him. Looking around the room, she said, "The grand tour includes an exclusive stop at the junior officer's quarters. Visitors will marvel that human beings can live in spaces so small." She frowned as she looked around and added, "or so messy?"</p><p>He laughed and, reaching below a bed, yanked a drawer, spilling clothes to the floor. It wasn't the first mound; there were several others. He sat on one and began to rummage through another. </p><p>The room was small, and Joanna couldn't imagine sharing it with three other people. Bunk beds ran along each wall with miniscule closets above a desk and stool at either end of the beds. There were drawers below each bunk but no other furniture. Three of the mattresses were bare; the fourth had linens and a blanket wadded into a ball at the foot.  </p><p>There was nothing personal on the walls, no pictures of family or pets, but the desk closest to the door was cluttered. Joanna gingerly took a seat on the tiny stool before it. A small antique book was wedged against the frame, positioned so he could reach it from the bed. She picked it up to check the title, but it wasn't in English. She ran her finger along the binding.</p><p>"Is this leather?" she asked.</p><p>He nodded and kept digging.</p><p>"Doesn't it bother you to hold the flesh of a living creature in your hands?"</p><p>"Any creature missing its flesh is dead."</p><p>"How can you joke about animal death? That's cruel," Joanna huffed.</p><p>"The book is three hundred years old. If they had spared it then, the cow would still be dead, and the book would have no cover." </p><p>She'd had the leather discussion many times with teachers and older relatives. No one else had ever been so matter-of-fact about disagreeing with her. Joanna didn't like the idea of leather, but she did like people who stood up to her. </p><p>On the desk were three PADDs. Joanna moved them and found a pile of thick, old-fashioned paper, pencil drawings of the city as seen from the academy. There was a pretty ink sketch of a country garden. She held it up to him with a questioning look.</p><p>"My grandmother's," he said, starting on the next pile. </p><p>"You're good," she said. </p><p>The ensign shook his head. "I understand angles. Drawing is mathematical," he said. </p><p>Joanna returned the paper to the desk. The polished wood of a small chess board, set up like he had left a game halfway through, glowed softly in the overhead light. Everything else was dusty. She leaned over to trace her initials on the desktop and said, "You're not tidy, Ensign Pavel Andreievich Chekov."</p><p>"No," he agreed.</p><p>"That surprises me. I would have assumed the fleet's youngest officer would be perfect."</p><p>He snorted, "You would assume wrong," then made a happy noise and grabbed a pair of lightweight red sweats from the back of the drawer.</p><p>"How do you tell the clean ones from the dirty ones?" she asked.</p><p>"When I don't have anything that I trust is clean, I recycle everything." She snorted. He shrugged and added, "It works." </p><p>"Your roommates are okay with this mess?" </p><p>He began to pick through a pile on the floor. "They received new postings. I will be more careful when the new ones arrive. Until then, in this one room, I do what I wish." </p><p>"Oh," Joanna moaned, "I totally understand that. I would do anything to have just one part of my life people would stay out of."</p><p>He handed her a t-shirt and said, "You're not in Starfleet. You'll always have more freedom than me. The head is behind the door. You could change there."  </p><p>Joanna slipped into the smallest bathroom she had ever experienced and wiggled out of her dress. She continued, "You think I have more freedom, but I don't. My parents have pretty much declared I am going to Georgia Tech because they all did, even my stepfather, Jack. It's the first thing my parents have agreed on in years. They've already planned my time once I get there too. My father assumes I will do pre-med, and my mother believes I will find a boyfriend, like having one in college brought her so much joy. You would think being a divorced mother by 25 would make you question the need for pairing off, but no, it doesn't."</p><p>She stepped out of the bathroom and showed off her outfit. Pavel was taller than her but skinnier. The sweats were too long and tight on her hips and thighs, but not uncomfortably so. </p><p>"You look pretty," he said.</p><p>"Sure I do," she said dismissively. "What's the shirt say?"</p><p>He squinted at the Cyrillic letters. "Working Man's Place. It is a bar owned by some of my relatives. I worked there sometimes."</p><p>"What did you do?"</p><p>He chuckled, "Whatever they ordered, of course."</p><p>They returned to security and the guard, who hadn't moved, and waved them through without a glance. They did two more sessions. Joanna did better with the less restrictive clothes. In the final game, they both played very well. Pavel ran out of ammunition and shouted at her to shoot the last Orions. Three rushed her at once; she screamed insults and fired while he cheered. When the lights came up, he grabbed her and swung her around, yelling, "We got them all!" </p><p>He set her down and ran to the machine, eager to see their results.<br/>"Look, Joanna, we got an expert ranking!" </p><p>"Yeah," she laughed, "we are amazing!" He smells good, she thought again, but this time it didn't make her nervous. She sat on the floor to catch her breath, enjoying the way his whole face lit up with delight as he read the screen. </p><p>Pavel threw his arms over his head and yelled, "This is great!"</p><p>"What?" Joanna laughed. </p><p>He dove to the ground beside her. "I have never had such a high score. It may be a record for the whole ship! Our names will be posted in the division!</p><p>"Yours and Geoff's," Joanna laughed.</p><p>His face fell. "I forgot. I am sorry, I will think of some way to get you the credit you deserve."</p><p>"I don't care," she said, "tell Geoff it's my way of thanking him for letting me use his ID."</p><p>He shifted to sit closer. "You are very kind," he said so seriously Joanna knew he meant it. Just then, the door slid open, and a colossal head appeared. "Pav," a deep voice called, "I can't believe you're here again." An enormous man in a red uniform stepped into the lab and asked, "Do you want..." He saw her and stopped. "Holy shit," he said.</p><p>"Geoff!" Pavel cried. "Guess what we did!"</p><p>"It's pretty obvious, Pav," the man hissed. "But, why here, buddy?"</p><p>"I asked her what she wanted. She thought it would be fun," Pavel explained. </p><p>The big man asked, "How did you...No, wait. Don't tell me. I don't want to know; just get her out."</p><p>Joanna was suddenly very conscious that she was lying on the security division floor with Pavel sitting at her head. They were disheveled, flushed, and sweaty. She sat up quickly, blushing. </p><p>But," started Pavel, "this is..."</p><p>"I'm Joanna. Just Joanna," she said firmly, positive she didn't want her father to know anyone had assumed she was his date. She stood up and smoothed her sweat pants nervously. "We should go."</p><p>"Alright," Pavel agreed, jumping up. "I'll check out." </p><p>"No," the man said. "I'll do it." He reached for the console then, sounding incredulous, asked, "Is that your shirt?" </p><p>Pavel glanced at Joanna and nodded, smiling. "Yes, from Russia."</p><p> The man continued, "Giotto will skin us alive if he sees anything that suggests we had a civilian down here. Where are the ones she came aboard in? Don't leave them lying around here."</p><p>"They are in my quarters," Pavel replied.</p><p>"Unbelievable," the man murmured, staring at them doubtfully. "Let's just get her out of here, Pav." He gestured through the door, then followed them down the hall. </p><p>At the desk, the lieutenant looked up and said, "Holy shit!"</p><p>The big man said, "Nice watch, Finley. They snuck right by you." </p><p>"I knew he was here, Hendorff. It didn't occur to me to worry he'd bring company," Finley replied. "You should have taken her to the observation deck, Pav. That's where most people go."</p><p>"Don't tell him stuff like that," the big man snapped.</p><p>"We were there already," Pavel said.</p><p>Lieutenant Finley raised a shocked eyebrow. "And his quarters," the large man added, "All tonight."</p><p>"Here was the best, though," Pavel said, "It was great. We had a lot of fun; I'm surprised you didn't hear us."</p><p>Finley shook his head. "Who'd have thought?" he asked Hendorff. "I guess it's always the quiet ones, huh?"</p><p>The big man nodded. "Get going, Pav. Don't let anyone see you," he said. </p><p>Finley called, "And try not to brag about this. You'll get us all in trouble."</p><p>"I won't," Pavel said seriously. "I am trying never to brag."</p><p>"A gentleman doesn't," Hendorff agreed. He stood in front of the doors to open them, but as they went past, he punched Pavel's shoulder and whispered, "Good on you, Pav. I admit; I'm impressed. Really."</p><p>"Did you hear Geoff congratulate us on our score?" Pavel asked once they were through the division doors. "He said he was impressed."</p><p>Joanna studied him skeptically and decided he was serious. "You don't date much, do you?" she asked.</p><p>Pavel looked at her with wide, surprised eyes. "No, why do you ask?"</p><p>"No reason," she replied, trying not to smirk.</p><p>He walked more slowly, looking very thoughtful. Suddenly he stopped and grimaced. "They weren't congratulating me on my aim."</p><p>"No," she agreed.</p><p>"I am so stupid," he said despondently. </p><p>"No," Joanna said again, "this isn't your first language."</p><p>"It wouldn't have mattered," Pavel said. "I am naive. Everyone says so. But, I can't help it; I was thirteen when I arrived at the academy and," He stopped, looking more upset than embarrassed. "They thought that of you. I'm sorry, I'll go explain." </p><p>"No," Joanna said, taking his arm to pull him away from security. "It's no big deal, and anyway, they don't know me." He followed grudgingly. She added, "They do know you, however, and I can pretty much guarantee they're going to talk. Congratulations, Ensign Pav. I'm pretty sure you're getting an expert rating in another security subspecialty."</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Part 4 The Mess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once outside security, they started toward the turbolifts. Pavel walked slowly, scuffling his boots on the floor and chewing his lip, saying nothing.  </p><p>"It's not that big of a deal," Joanna said again. When he didn't respond, she tapped him with her elbow and asked, "Hey, are you alright?"</p><p>He blinked a few times as if surprised to see her, then said, "I'm sorry, I was thinking. Yes, I am fine. Shall will go to engineering next?" </p><p>"You should be nicer to yourself," Joanna said, "I mean, where is it written that you have to be good at everything?"</p><p>"That's more of a personal goal," he sighed. He gestured toward the turbolifts. "It is a short ride to engineering."</p><p>No way I can fake interest in that, Joanna thought, then remembered something she did want to do. "Hey," she said. "Let's stop at the cafe. We'll get you a treat. That'll cheer you right up."</p><p>"The cafe?" he asked uncertainly.</p><p>"You know, the restaurant? Maybe get something to eat?"</p><p>"Do you mean the mess?" Pavel asked. "The places to eat on ships are called the mess."</p><p>"Whatever. Yes, that."</p><p>Pavel said, "But you've seen the mess, and engineering is amazing."</p><p>"Amazing, yeah, no doubt, absolutely," Joanna said, "but the thing is, I've always wanted to use a food synthesizer."</p><p>He replied with a very skeptical smile. </p><p>Immediately, Joanna grew defensive.  "Seriously," she insisted, daring Pavel to laugh. "Using a replicator is the only reason I came on this ship. No one ever cares what I want." She put her chin up, ready for a fight. </p><p>But Pavel only nodded and said, "Then we must go to the mess." Joanna felt embarrassed as she followed him into the lift.</p><p>Once they reached the mess, Pavel explained what she should do. He keyed his ID into the machine and stepped back to allow her to make her choices. It took her several attempts, but she got a cookie and some tea.  He congratulated her enthusiastically, then made himself a large bowl of macaroni and cheese. Once seated, he covered it with ketchup. "That's repulsive," Joanna said. </p><p>"You are an expert not just on Starfleet but on food too?" he asked and, spooning up some pasta, held it out for her to taste. She hesitated, then closed her eyes and let him slip it into her mouth. It was warm and soft and sweet. She opened her eyes, and he smiled knowingly.</p><p>"It's good," Joanna admitted. Jumping up, Pavel came back with another spoon and handed it to her. </p><p>"We'll share," he said, setting his bowl between them.</p><p>Between bites, Pavel chattered about the excellent noodles of Russia. She listened, thinking he looked nice with his curls disarrayed and his uniform untucked. When he finished the pasta, he jumped up and created more. </p><p>"You're really hungry," Joanna commented. "Didn't you eat dinner when we were here before?"</p><p>"I made food, but I didn't eat," Pavel replied, squeezing ketchup over the dish. </p><p>"You should have said something," she said. "I could have waited."</p><p>He looked up and added, "It wasn't your fault. I was too angry to be hungry."</p><p>"What could possibly make you that mad? Did they promote some eleven-year-old ahead of you?" Joanna asked. </p><p>He gave her a sideways glance. "No, my position is safe from the eleven-year-olds, but thank you for your concern."</p><p>She waited, but he didn't say anymore. "Then what?" she prompted.</p><p> He shrugged. "It's stupid."</p><p>"I like stupid," Joanna insisted.</p><p>He rolled his eyes then said, "I read my evaluation from a temporary assignment and got angry."</p><p>"Wow. It was that bad?" Joanna said.</p><p>"No," Pavel said resentfully, "it was excellent." </p><p>"Is there something above excellent you expected to get?" Joanna teased. </p><p>Pavel leaned closer, asked, "Do you ever," then broke off, sighed, and looked away, blushing. </p><p>"Come on," Joanna urged more gently, "tell me what happened."</p><p>Pavel tapped his finger against the table a few times. Sounding resigned, he said, "While the Enterprise is in dry dock, I have orders to assist with a research project at the base. I read the project synopsis and had several thoughts on how to streamline the work. I took my notes to the project manager." He paused, scowled, then added, "He was not appreciative."</p><p>Joanna asked, "What did he say?" </p><p>"Among other things, he told me to stop being so arrogant. When I tried to explain, he interrupted to say I was doing it again." Pavel threw his hands out like he still couldn't quite believe it.</p><p>Joanna nodded, trying not to smile. Pavel continued, "I told Mr. Scott, that is the chief engineer. The man who is letting me help with the repairs. He was sympathetic." </p><p>"This Mr. Scott is obviously brilliant," Joanna teased.</p><p>"Yes," Pavel said, missing the joke. "He told me it was a waste of my time to try and help such stupid people. So for the remainder of the project, I didn't. I didn't even correct their math mistakes."</p><p>"Wow," Joanna murmured, uncertain how else to reply.</p><p>He tilted his head to watch her response and added, "My evaluation posted today. I read it in the mess. It was very good, excellent. That means that once I stopped helping, their estimation of my skills improved significantly." </p><p>Joanna laughed, delighted. </p><p>"I'm glad it makes someone happy," Pavel said, but Joanna could tell from his expression that he too appreciated the irony.</p><p>"You know what? I'm glad," she said, "because if you hadn't been sulking in the corner, Miss Chapel couldn't have nabbed you for my great tour."</p><p>"Lucky for both of us," he said with a smile, "your tour prevented me spending the entire evening angry that the appearance of my support is valued over the real thing."</p><p>"Oh my God," Joanna murmured, setting down her fork. "That is the perfect way to say it."</p><p>Pavel looked at her quizically. "The appearance of my support is valued over the real thing," she repeated, then confessed, "It's the reason why I wore shoes that hurt my feet."</p><p>"Now it is your turn to explain," he laughed.</p><p>Joanna's first instinct was to deflect, make a joke, maybe play up her father's eccentricity. She did that a lot at home, and her friends always enjoyed it. But he wasn't like her friends, and he'd been honest with her.<br/>
She chewed her lip, wondering how to begin. "Alright," she said slowly. "But this is embarrassing, and I really don't want it getting back to my father."</p><p>"You can depend upon me," he said earnestly. </p><p>She took a deep breath. "Before you guys leave on this stupid ship, I wanted to give my father the perfect goodbye present."</p><p>"Uncomfortable shoes?" he asked uncertainly.</p><p>She narrowed her eyes and glared, sure he was joking. He looked back, eyes wide and concerned. Those guys in security are right, she decided. He may actually be the most naive human in the galaxy. </p><p>"Joanna?" Pavel asked.</p><p>"Okay." she sighed. "I think you need a little background info. My parents divorced when I was five. I don't remember Daddy living with us, but I saw him regularly until he moved out to California three years ago. Now, we comm every week and spend an occasional holiday together. He tries, but it's not like we have actual conversations. I can basically write a script for what he will say, 'How's school? Are you having fun? Be careful. I wish we lived closer.' It's like talking to a receptionist at the dentist's office. I love him, but I don't know him very well, and he doesn't know me at all."</p><p>Pavel nodded, brow wrinkled like he was concentrating hard. He's a good listener, Joanna thought. By now, any of her friends would have interrupted to insert something about their own lives. Sometimes she felt her classmates were competitive about their parent's failings. It was one of the reasons she didn't discuss her family much. </p><p>"I always wish he was around more. But when he is, it isn't ever like I think it will be." Embarrassed, Joanna began to speak more quickly. "I have a bad temper, and I always lose it, and I end up being rude to him, usually just hours before he has to leave, and then he looks so sad. It's horrible." </p><p>"He is sad to say goodbye to you," Pavel said gravely.</p><p>Exasperated, Joanna said, "No, he's sad his daughter is a bitch, and the point is, when he goes off on this stupid ship, he may be gone for years. I thought a long time, trying to come up with a perfect goodbye present.  Finally, I decided I'd give him one visit where, no matter what happened, I was nice to him."</p><p>Pavel said thoughtfully, "You plan to give him a good memory."</p><p>Joanna hadn't thought of it that way, but he was right. "I guess, yes, I do."</p><p>"That is beautiful."</p><p>Joanna frowned, confused. None of the boys she knew saw beauty in anything but bikinis and new boats. But Pavel nodded as if it made perfect sense to spend half her life worrying about her absentee father's happiness. </p><p>"Who is the someone?" Pavel asked.</p><p>"The what?" </p><p>"If you are not you today, who is the one you are?"</p><p>"Who am I trying to be?" Joanna asked. Pavel nodded again. </p><p>Joanna took another bite of his pasta, then continued, "That's where the clothes come in. They belong to the person most capable of disguising her motives that I know, my mother." </p><p>Before he could ask, Joanna explained, "Mama's never rude to anyone until she's sure they aren't going to be of any use to her. I figured if she can do it, so can I. I went through her closet, borrowed some of her clothes, and spent today pretending to be her. No matter what annoying thing someone said, I smiled and looked interested. Or anyway, that was the goal. I messed up a little with Daddy's cheerleader nurse." </p><p>Joanna leaned across the table. "You probably think I'm crazy," she said, "pretending to be someone else to spend time with my own father. But," she paused, trying to think the words to explain how hard it was to love someone and feel so distant from them. </p><p>"No," he said. "I think you are kind to do this."</p><p>Joanna felt tears sting her eyes and decided to be entirely honest. "I'm doing it for me too," she clarified. "I want to be able to say goodbye without feeling guilty. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I can keep it up. It's hard to be someone else."</p><p>"I know," Pavel gave her the sideways glance she was beginning to suspect meant he was checking to see if she'd get his joke. "I tried to be someone not arrogant, and it felt very unnatural." </p><p>Joanna giggled. He added, "I fooled no one. You recognized me within minutes."</p><p>For a second, Joanna wasn't sure what he was talking about but then remembered. Grimacing, she moaned, "I called you arrogant." He smiled triumphantly, seemingly more pleased she remembered than insulted she'd said it. "See," she said, "that's what I'm talking about; I just blurt things out without thinking how they sound."</p><p>"You are direct. That is not a bad thing," Pavel said. "Many people have told me I am arrogant. Almost every command track lieutenant on the ship mentioned it while ordering me to recite the ship's history."</p><p>"The lieutenants," she said, "are idiots. You shouldn't hang out with them."</p><p>"I don't have much choice." </p><p>"I suppose not," she said. "Well, maybe you and your friends should avoid them, eat in your view room."</p><p>His smile faded, and he looked down at his plate.</p><p>"What's wrong?" she asked.</p><p>He shook his head. "What's wrong?" Joanna asked again.</p><p>He said quietly, "It will be a while to make friends."</p><p>"You mean once you sail? I suppose there will be a lot of new people, but you went to the academy. You'll probably know some of them from school," she countered.</p><p>He shrugged. "Most of my schoolmates died."</p><p>Joanna blinked, uncertain how to reply. The fleet suffered horrific losses in the battle with Nero. She knew it from the news feeds, but her father never discussed it. Thinking of him in the middle of a firefight made her anxious about his next voyage, so she avoided talking about it too. Vulcan was far away; her father was safe. She often forgot anything had happened. Not everyone, she realized, had that freedom.</p><p>"Are you afraid to go back out?" she asked.</p><p>Pavel shook his head. "No," he said, "but if I were, I would go anyway. I want to explore, and also, I feel," he gestured, searching for the right words, then gave up and started over. "So many who died wanted what I have," he said. "It dishonors their sacrifice to refuse this chance." </p><p>He looked at her anxiously and asked, "Does that sound arrogant?"</p><p>"No," Joanna shook her head.</p><p>"I'm never sure," he murmured.</p><p>She replied gently. "You're not arrogant, Pavel. You're just right. Other people can't stand it."</p><p>Pavel smiled, and Joanna thought again how much she liked his smile. He toyed with his spoon, then said in a tentative voice, "Joanna, I feel I must say something."</p><p>She shrugged and said, "Go ahead. I mean, at this point, do we have secrets?"</p><p>Pavel said, "Your father is not perfect; he will not expect that of you."</p><p>"He's pretty perfect," Joanna said wistfully, "and now he's a hero." She felt tears well in her eyes again.</p><p>Pavel set a hand on hers and said, "Joanna, it is good to give this gift to your father. But," </p><p>Before he could finish, she asked, "Is it, though? I'm giving my father a visit with someone who isn't sarcastic or snide, or even strongly opinionated. It isn't me."</p><p>"The appearance over the reality," he said, nodding.</p><p>"That's what he wants," she agreed sadly.</p><p>Pavel shrugged and said, "That is all you are offering."</p><p>Joanna sat back in her chair, surprised. He continued, "Not just you, both of us. By pretending to be respectful of my project manager, I denied him any real assistance. You pretend to be what you assume your father wants but deny him yourself. What if your father feels as you do and longs to know you too? I do not know him well, but he was brave during the battle and then gentle and kind to the survivors. I think perhaps if you knew him better, you could like him, as well as love him."</p><p>I should be mad, Joanna thought. Why aren't I angry? It was the way he said it, she decided. Serious, confident, but a little wary. Respectful, she realized. Jack often complained that her friends were way better talkers than thinkers. Pavel was kind of the reverse, definitely like no one else she knew.</p><p>"Do you really believe that?" she asked.</p><p>"I do. Share your truth," he urged. </p><p>"Thanks, Ensign Pavel Andreievich Chekov," Joanna said softly. "I will think about it." She wiped at her eyes and said gently, "You'll make friends once you sail." </p><p>"Because, in space, it will be impossible for them to avoid me?" He sounded playful, but Joanna thought he looked a little guarded.</p><p>Joanna rubbed the t-shirt she was wearing and said, "Trust me on this; you'll make friends. You're friendly and smart and, I don't know, serious. You share well, and you've got great taste in food.  People would have to be stupid not to like you." </p><p>"Thank you," Pavel said, not sarcastically as she might have. He sounded grateful.</p><p>They considered each other for a few seconds, then Joanna added, "Talking to you made me feel less, I don't know, ridiculous about all of this.</p><p> Before he could reply, someone called, "Jojo," from the door. Joanna looked up to see her father hurrying across the mess, followed by Miss Chapel. Well, Daddy's frantic, she thought.</p><p>"Great," she sighed. Pavel pulled his hand away and rose to stand very straight beside the table.</p><p>"Hi, Daddy," she said, trying to sound enthusiastic.</p><p>"Is everything alright?" her father asked, pulling her up into a hug.</p><p>"Of course," she muttered, trying to pull away. She remembered her goal, smiled. "Why wouldn't it be?"</p><p>"I got worried when we couldn't find you."</p><p>"Where is your communicator?" Miss Chapel asked Pavel. "We've been calling for the past twenty minutes."</p><p>Pavel patted his hips, looked surprised, and muttered, "I'm sorry, ma'am."</p><p>"You had exactly two instructions," Miss Chapel huffed angrily. </p><p>"Yes, ma'am," Pavel agreed. </p><p>"It's alright, Christine. We found her," Her father pulled her close again. She tried not to stiffen. He added, "I'm sorry, Jojo, I wanted this to be the perfect evening for you. But there wasn't another doctor on the ship, and the poor man was badly injured."</p><p>She looked over her father's shoulder to the nurse. "Don't worry, Daddy, I've had so much fun, you can't imagine."</p><p>"Really?" Miss Chapel asked skeptically.</p><p>"Yes," Joanna insisted.</p><p>Miss Chapel narrowed her eyes. "What was your favorite part?"</p><p>"I couldn't say," Joanna replied coolly.</p><p>Miss Chapel matched Joanna's tone, "If your guide had followed his very specific instructions, you might have seen something that stuck out." </p><p>Pavel sighed. Joanna glanced at him, then flashed her mother's smile, showing all her teeth and none of her emotions. She batted her eyelashes and gushed, "Oh, honey, just the opposite! It was all so marvelous I simply can't pick a favorite. I absolutely loved the observation deck. Did you know Ensign Chekov has the history of the ship memorized, every single word! He just spouted it out so cute! The trip through security was special too. I couldn't imagine until I saw it. I just feel so much safer knowing how well defended the ship is. Oh, and the officers' quarters! We didn't see those on our last tour. Everything is so tiny! I don't see how you manage, Daddy!"</p><p>"Senior officers have bigger rooms. I'll show you if you're worried, sugar." </p><p>"That would be lovely, Daddy." She batted her eyes at Miss Chapel. "I can't pick just one favorite part because I loved it all." </p><p>Miss Chapel studied Joanna doubtfully. Joanna carefully kept her expression innocent until Miss Chapel looked away, then gave Pavel a wink. She was thrilled by his slight, impressed nod.  </p><p>Her father said, "Maybe it was for the best; Chekov knows the ship much better than I do anyway. Thank you, ensign, for taking such good care of my daughter."</p><p>Pavel said, "I was happy to help, sir." Miss Chapel snorted. The boy glanced at her nervously and added, "Is that all, sir?" </p><p>"You said you'd show me engineering!" Joanna said, forgetting to pretend to be her mother.</p><p>Her father talked over her, "Yeah, take off, Chekov."  </p><p>Pavel gave Joanna an apologetic smile, then fled without a backward glance. Her father continued, "I want to make this up to you, Jojo. Do you want to go down to the waterfront, maybe get ice cream? We can do whatever you want."</p>
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